It's In His Kiss

"When the ball in Times Square dropped into place, everyone in the room shared a New Year's kiss with their dates.  Trace took Ellie in his arms and looked into her eyes.  Then his gaze dropped to her lips.  Ellie's breathing picked up and her mouth began to water.  This was the moment she had waited for.  She slowly slid her arms from their resting place on Trace's chest, to his shoulders, and then around his neck.  She tangled her fingers in his hair.  Trace slowly bent his head toward Ellie's, his lips parted and she met him half way.  Their first kiss started slowly. Trace did not want to rush this, he wanted to savor every moment.  Ellie pulled back for a moment and licked her lips. She wanted this to be perfect.  Then parting her own lips, she kissed him with all the fervor she could find.  The kiss intensified and Ellie was lost."

I am an avid reader.  I read all different kinds of books.  It always amazes me how writers can get so much thought out of a simple kiss, or a look.  Whether its passion, or playfulness, terror or sorrow, the emotions always plays across, or in, or deeply in, or at the back of, someone's eyes.

In my reading I also find the depth of passion, or anger, or nervousness, can be felt through a kiss.  I laugh to myself when I  think about the looks or kisses expressed in these books, what that would look like in real life.  Can you really see terror in someones eyes.  Can you feel the passion they have for you in their kiss?  Maybe you can and maybe you can't, I don't know.

I also happen to be an author.  My genre is murder mystery/romance.  The above excerpt is from my second novel - When Embers Ignite.  It's a simple first kiss between the two main characters.  When I first started writing  a number of years ago, I had to block out a kiss, so my readers could feel like a part of the story.  I remember how difficult it was imagining the female's side of the kiss.  It was nearly impossible to try and figure out my male leads part.  I asked my husband for help, he declined. So I had to figure it out on my own.  Toughest thing I have ever had to write.

So when you experience your own love scene with your significant other, while all of these other things are passing through your mind during the kiss, give a little thought to how you might right that scene.

Until next time.

It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

No I don't mean Christmas, for many parents the Target commercial is spot on!  It's the time of year when we send our children back to school.  My son informed me he wants hints on going back to school.  I could give you advice on what to wear the first day of school, or what to buy for school supplies.  But I want to go another way.

How can I help you with your back to school preparation?

1. Confidence:  It's a big bad world out there.  Children and adults for that matter need to have a firm foundation. What does that mean? That means you need to make sure your family knows they are loved.  Love is the basis for healthy self confidence.

2. Status doesn't matter:  If a person has self confidence then status or the need to have all the "right" clothing, hanging with all the "right" people, or doing all the "cool" things won't be important.

3. Be yourself:  Trying to be someone your not, is exhausting.  To have a great experience at school being your authentic self is the only way to make it through.  You will find friends with your same interests, you will be happy going to school everyday.  There will always be someone out there who will want to make you feel bad about yourself.  If you are true to who you are that won't matter.

4. Be mindful of others:  Be on the look out for people who feel inferior, who feel they don't have friends to hang with.  Being kind will never be a wrong choice. Be helpful and uplifting to those around you.  You will never be sorry for being a true friend.

5. Not everyone is going to be nice to you: It is a sad fact of life.  There will always be school bullies or people who for no good reason will look down on you. Who will treat you like you are no better than a bug to be squashed.  If you have authentic friends and are kind to others, you will find you are not alone and there is safety and strength in numbers.

6. Be prayerful:  I know this one sounds kind of strange especially if you don't think of yourself as a spiritual person.  But having God in your corner will never be a bad idea.


Until next time

Am I Good Enough

All my life I have always wanted to be good enough.  A good enough daughter, friend, girlfriend, wife, and mother.  What makes us good enough?  Is it measured by what others think of us?  Do we measure ourselves by the accomplishments of others?

Comparing ourselves with an external measuring stick is a false comparison.  We can never compare ourselves to others and get a good reading.  The only person we should be compare ourselves to is us.
I read an article recently about a man who had been in his pediatric residency. Here is part of his story.

Through a series of tender mercies as a young doctor coming out of medical school, I was accepted for pediatric residency training in a high-powered, competitive program. When I met the other interns, I felt like the least intelligent and least prepared of all. I thought there was no way I could measure up to the rest of the group.

Early in our third month, I was sitting in the nurse’s station in the hospital late one night, alternately sobbing to myself and falling asleep as I tried to write the admission orders for a small boy with pneumonia. I had never felt so discouraged in my life. I didn’t have any idea how to treat pneumonia in a 10-year-old. I began to wonder what I was doing there.

Just at that moment, one of the senior residents put his hand on my shoulder. He asked me how I was doing, and I poured out my frustrations and fears. His response changed my life. He told me how proud he and all of the other senior residents were of me and how they felt like I was going to be an excellent doctor. In short, he believed in me at a time when I didn’t even believe in myself.

Like this young doctor we often may feel inadequate or not good enough. We see our own failings so much clearer than our successes.  We constantly compare our private selves to others public selves. 

Often others close to us can see us with a more objective eye.  But only look to those around you as they give you confidence and constructively help you to improve.  Don't listen to those who will tear you down.  You will do that enough on your own.  Most importantly give yourself a break.  If you are doing your best and you know if you are, know that you will make mistakes, but just keep at it. 

Am I good enough?  I have no idea, but I do know if I keep trying it will always be a step in the right direction.   

Until next time.