Saturday, July 22, 2017

Who Has Time for Toxicity?????

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where others around you seem to be emotionally toxic? You know the ones I mean, the people who, when you talk to them they never have anything good or happy to say.  Those who regardless of how life is treating them, have to just be sad and mopey all the time. Life never holds joy for them.  I have been inspired the last three weeks by a woman of incredible courage, faith, and love.

This particular woman happens to be the birth mother of my daughter.  The weekend of the Forth of July she and her family decided to spend some time on a lake with jet ski's. At some point in the day they needed to gas up and get back to the dock.  The jet ski wouldn't start.  Her husband was trying to get it started and opened up the battery compartment to see what was wrong.  Gasoline fumes were in the compartment and when he tried to start it, the fumes were ignited by a spark and he got burned not only on his face, arms and upper body, but also burned his throat and lungs.  He has been in the hospital burn unit for three weeks with his wife by his side.

Instead of asking "Why is this happening to us? or Life is too hard I just can't do this, or Why does God hate me?" She is full of faith for the future, knowing her husband is in God's hands.  She updates everyone on Facebook and reminds us what is really important.

This woman is a shining example of a faithful, righteous, loving daughter of God.  I say it again, she is incredible.

Her situation could lead her to have a toxic attitude, but instead she is uplifting to those of us who can only pray for them.

Thank you Tiffany, for who you are.

Until next time.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Exercise....What's the Point???

When I was a kid a wise man told me I needed to keep my body "Young, clean, and full of vitality."  I was sixteen, of course, yeah I get that.  Now I'm a little older, I think man I wish I would have followed that advice.  I exercise now, I bike a lot, I use a Fitbit and try to get in my 10,000 steps everyday. I have a gym membership.  But I haven't always done that.

I was in my twenties it was easy to stay physically fit. I used to go to the gym with friends, and afterward we'd stop by the local ice cream place and get a large shake.  It was reward for a job well done.  What's wrong with that.  Well, nothing except as my metabolism slowed down, I kept eating the shakes.  What??  Yeah not my best choice.  I was married in my late twenties and my life style changed somewhat as did my metabolism. I started to self medicate with my favorite comfort food, carbohydrates.  

In my late thirties I became a mom.  Even though I was chasing after my children I was still self medicating with food. Every seven years our bodies change.  As we get older, our bodies start to slow down and if we don't change our eating, our lifestyle and our exercise routines we will not keep our bodies full of vitality.

I have seen in my own family what happens when someone doesn't stay active.  When we don't eat appropriately and get some sort of exercise, our life can get out of balance.  Our bodies should be considered a gift from God.  It is the only thing besides our free will that is truly our own.  I feel so much better when I exercise.  My personal form of exercise is cycling.  For me, it is not only physically uplifting, but it also helps me focus my thoughts.  

If I go to the gym, it helps me in my work, and with my gardening.   If we keep our minds and our bodies clean and healthy, the better we feel.  The better I feel the more I can accomplish.

Stay healthy
Until next time.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

What Can I Do for You??

I'm at an age where some of my time is spent as a caregiver.  Either to a parent, a spouse, or a friend. I am part of what is called a sandwich generation.  Which means I am a caregiver for a parent while still taking care of children in my home.   At times I am also a caregiver to my husband.  No grandchildren yet, although some of my friends have them.  Is there enough of me to go around?  Probably not.  Will I stop trying to be helpful?  Probably not.  So how can I take care of everyone else and myself as well.  It's  a tall order and one that is exhausting.

A therapist once told me women make the worst caregivers.  Why? Because they will take care of everyone else before themselves.  We do this as mom's as well.  We're hard wired that way.  So ladies here are some things I learned along the way.

You need to set aside some time at least once a month for yourself.  When my children were smaller I used to have what I called a mom's day out.  Once a month I would invite a fellow mom to take what some may call a ladies day.  It doesn't have to be all day long, but that certainly is a possibility.  It could be time shopping, or having lunch.  This could be the same for a caregiver of older people.

Don't give up your hobbies, or develop new ones.  Unfortunately for me I have too many hobbies. One of the things we do as women, is give up our hobbies.  My mother who is now 87 lost my father when she was 79.  She was very spry for a 79 year old, but she gave up her hobbies somewhere around 69 or 70 and became totally dependent on my father for everything, she even gave up driving before it was necessary.  As a result, when my father died, she was totally lost.

Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of rest.  In order to take care of others you need to be healthy yourself.  You know when I was a new mother, people used to say sleep when the baby sleeps. Ha! that never works, if you do that, nothing else gets done either.  Even though I have to admit, I did sneak a nap more than once.  Doing all of these everyday is difficult when you are caring for others. Be creative, take a walk, snack on fruit, sneak a nap during TV time.

It's alright to be selfish once in awhile.  Move yourself  higher up on your own list of priorities.

Until next time.  

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Sharing the Wisdom of a Friend

Every week when I post I try to share what I have been going through or feeling.  This week one of my Facebook friends shared this post. Since my week has been up and down I decided to pass this along. I think it is full of wisdom and definitely worth sharing.  If you notice at the bottom she said I could.  So here goes.

"Over the years, I've had many discussions with our daughters about people and relationships. I've tried to teach them what they should look for in a partner and what kind of partner they should be. I hope we have taught them by example as well. I found myself putting together a list the other night of the most important lessons I've learned. I'm sharing them here, so they are always here and will come up in my memories every year. Thanks FB.✌🏻
1.) Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don't care, but because they don't. Don't run after people who don't want you. You'll always be running.
2.) DO NOT speak poorly of your past partners to your new one. It's very easy to do and very common, but it only reflects poorly on you. You once loved that person, or at least deeply liked them. Remember that. Choose the higher ground. You won't ever regret it.
3.) If you know something in your gut, trust it. Don't dismiss red flags. They are red for a reason.
4.) Nurture your relationships with friends. Especially when you've got a partner in your life. Friends are important. If your friends aren't accepting of your partner, ask yourself why. Listen carefully to the answers and do some thinking. It may be the partner that needs rethinking, but it might be the friend.
5.) If you wake up thinking of someone and you go to bed thinking of someone.....that just might be someone worth fighting for, worth keeping, even if it's sometimes hard. It's worth it. Listen to your heart, it knows.
6.) It's never too late to try again. Even if it doesn't workout in the way you hoped, you can walk away knowing you gave it everything you had and not full of regret. Don't leave unfinished business. Those doubts can eat you alive and will affect every relationship you have in the future.
7.) Talk to your partner. Admit when you're wrong. Tell them when you have a problem with them. But also, tell them what they're doing right. Meaningful communication is the most important thing in any relationship. If you don't talk to each other AND listen, you'll never survive.
8.) If you are being stupid, mean, or petty and you know it, STOP it! It doesn't have to be nasty. It's not a contest on who can hurt who the most. In that sort of contest, no one is a winner.
9.) When things get rough, and they will, reflect on the good times; the moments, the laughing, the romantic surprises, the singing, the dancing, and the late night talks. Do you really want to live your life without that person in it?
10.) Say goodnight, and good morning. Say, I love you and I appreciate you. Ask yourself every day how you can make your partners life better.
11.) As T-Swizzle so aptly put it, this ain't a fairy tale and you're not a princess. Live right now. Be forgiving. Don't overlook all that you actually have for something that isn't real. Movies and books aren't real. People are.
12.) Don't let past hurts keep you from loving with your whole heart. Hearts are actually pretty resilient. Don't hold back. Give your all. At the very least you learn from every experience you go through. You never know what's around that corner, so turn it.
13.) People will show you who they are if you give them the chance. Pay attention.
14.) Dream about your future. Make big plans. Always know there's more than one way to get from here to there. If one road ends, take a new one. Always keep your final destination in mind.
15.) You teach people how to treat you. Don't be a doormat. Don't be a wall. You are neither.
Feel free to share! The post is public."

--Melony Pulley

Until next time

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Over My Head and Out of My Mind

Have you ever felt like your looking at a tsunami and all you have to help you is one of those styrofoam life preservers.  Well that's my life right now.  Everyday it's something else.  Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does.  You take two steps forward and then five steps back.  It overtakes your whole life. But it's okay life is just like that sometimes.  

So how do you dig yourself out of a big mess.  You sit down an look at it logically.  You talk to the experts in the field to see if they can help, then you get on your knees and pray.

It really isn't important what trials I am currently experiencing.  It doesn't matter what the outcome of my predicament.  What matters is how I get myself through it.  Hiding from the problem isn't the answer.  Even though at times it's the only way to stay sane.

I want to get on with my book, I want to get on with my summer projects, I want to be able to feel good about life.  So somehow I need to find my way through.

Wish me luck

Until next time.

Saturday, June 17, 2017


It's time to celebrate all the wonderful father's in our lives.  Men can be such a great influence in the lives of the people they love.  My dad was my rock.  My soft place to land.  He wasn't perfect but he was the perfect father for me.  He loved and supported me, he helped me understand responsibility and he guided me on my journey to discover righteousness and love.

Growing up on a farm we didn't do a lot of vacationing.  Okay let's get real, my family went on one family vacation during my whole life.  When you have live stock it's not like you can have a neighbor come over and feed the cows, chickens, pigs, turkeys, geese, etc.  So we stayed pretty close to home. I lived at the foot of the Rocky Mountains, so we spent weekend afternoon's up the canyon having picnics, and roasting marshmallows.  We had lots of chores at home but when Dad was home he was always out there with us.

He was a strict father but he never laid a hand on me.  His discipline was more like, "Shar, I expected more of you than this."  He made sure we always fulfilled our responsibilities.  My father worked for the government for many years, so he wasn't at home to work the fields and pick the fruit.  He left that for us.  He led by example, I don't think I ever saw him take a sick day.  He was a very hard worker who always provided for his family.

After I grew up and my dad retired he spent more time at home and he became one of my best friends.  He helped me shape my life and helped make me the woman I am today.   The Lord was always important to my father and he raised me to make righteous choices, and stay close to God.

My father passed away almost eight years ago.  I will always love my dad and I miss him everyday.

To all those wonderful men in our lives Happy Father's Day!
Until next time.  

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Tough Week

This has been a tough week.  I had such lovely plans for the summer.  I wanted to finish writing my latest novel, spend some time in my garden, add some landscaping to my yard, and so many more things.  This first week of summer vacation from school, I'm a librarian at my local elementary school, was supposed to be a great kick off.  Unfortunately it hasn't been great, in fact its been just the opposite.  I won't go into why, just know it's far from what I expected.

I'm not normally a half glass empty kind of gal, but this week has kicked my butt.  I suppose everyone has those times in their lives when everything seems to go against them.  This has been building for awhile now and it's just come to a head.  I'm hoping for better things but not expecting the best.

Until next time.