Ever since I was a kid I was taught to work hard. When I was a kid my rewards didn't seem that great. Basically I worked hard so I wouldn't get in trouble. My dad was a stickler for doing what you were asked or told to do. In a word responsibility. Growing up doing farm chores we didn't get a whole lot of down time. There was always something to do. That's not to say there wasn't time for fun, it was there for you after your chores were done. When you're a kid and don't want to do chores it takes a long time to get them done. So rewards seemed short on coming, but only because I didn't get things done in a timely manner.
Fast forward to being an adult, here I am. I have my own home, and family. My kids are almost grown and don't need a lot from me, unless they're short on funds. So my time is more or less my own. I still have responsibilities but they are of my own doing. My rewards are also my own. Thanks to my upbringing I actually do enjoy working in my yard and taking care of my home. I enjoy cooking for my family. I can't say I love doing dishes or cleaning toilets, but you have to take the bad with the good, right?
This week I get to do some landscaping and make a quiet garden spot just for me. It will take a ton of hard work, but in the end the reward will be worth it. I already have the roses in place and some of the anchor plants so I will need to add a couple of beds, a seating area and some comfy chairs with a small table for water or snacks, a pathway complete with paving stones, and some grass to soften everything up. It will be a place for me to settle in to writing my latest project or reading a great book.
I have another huge project to finish before the snow flies. My garden spot has been over run by weeds and voles. It isn't a pretty sight and will take much more had work and time. It won't be totally ready to produce fruit and vegetables until spring. But next year I will be able to grow my own organic fruits and vegetables.
Life is full of great rewards, if only you're willing to put in the hard work to receive them.
Until next time.
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Saturday, July 22, 2017
Who Has Time for Toxicity?????
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where others around you seem to be emotionally toxic? You know the ones I mean, the people who, when you talk to them they never have anything good or happy to say. Those who regardless of how life is treating them, have to just be sad and mopey all the time. Life never holds joy for them. I have been inspired the last three weeks by a woman of incredible courage, faith, and love.
This particular woman happens to be the birth mother of my daughter. The weekend of the Forth of July she and her family decided to spend some time on a lake with jet ski's. At some point in the day they needed to gas up and get back to the dock. The jet ski wouldn't start. Her husband was trying to get it started and opened up the battery compartment to see what was wrong. Gasoline fumes were in the compartment and when he tried to start it, the fumes were ignited by a spark and he got burned not only on his face, arms and upper body, but also burned his throat and lungs. He has been in the hospital burn unit for three weeks with his wife by his side.
Instead of asking "Why is this happening to us? or Life is too hard I just can't do this, or Why does God hate me?" She is full of faith for the future, knowing her husband is in God's hands. She updates everyone on Facebook and reminds us what is really important.
This woman is a shining example of a faithful, righteous, loving daughter of God. I say it again, she is incredible.
Her situation could lead her to have a toxic attitude, but instead she is uplifting to those of us who can only pray for them.
Thank you Tiffany, for who you are.
Until next time.
This particular woman happens to be the birth mother of my daughter. The weekend of the Forth of July she and her family decided to spend some time on a lake with jet ski's. At some point in the day they needed to gas up and get back to the dock. The jet ski wouldn't start. Her husband was trying to get it started and opened up the battery compartment to see what was wrong. Gasoline fumes were in the compartment and when he tried to start it, the fumes were ignited by a spark and he got burned not only on his face, arms and upper body, but also burned his throat and lungs. He has been in the hospital burn unit for three weeks with his wife by his side.
Instead of asking "Why is this happening to us? or Life is too hard I just can't do this, or Why does God hate me?" She is full of faith for the future, knowing her husband is in God's hands. She updates everyone on Facebook and reminds us what is really important.
This woman is a shining example of a faithful, righteous, loving daughter of God. I say it again, she is incredible.
Her situation could lead her to have a toxic attitude, but instead she is uplifting to those of us who can only pray for them.
Thank you Tiffany, for who you are.
Until next time.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Exercise....What's the Point???
When I was a kid a wise man told me I needed to keep my body "Young, clean, and full of vitality." I was sixteen, of course, yeah I get that. Now I'm a little older, I think man I wish I would have followed that advice. I exercise now, I bike a lot, I use a Fitbit and try to get in my 10,000 steps everyday. I have a gym membership. But I haven't always done that.
I was in my twenties it was easy to stay physically fit. I used to go to the gym with friends, and afterward we'd stop by the local ice cream place and get a large shake. It was reward for a job well done. What's wrong with that. Well, nothing except as my metabolism slowed down, I kept eating the shakes. What?? Yeah not my best choice. I was married in my late twenties and my life style changed somewhat as did my metabolism. I started to self medicate with my favorite comfort food, carbohydrates.
In my late thirties I became a mom. Even though I was chasing after my children I was still self medicating with food. Every seven years our bodies change. As we get older, our bodies start to slow down and if we don't change our eating, our lifestyle and our exercise routines we will not keep our bodies full of vitality.
I have seen in my own family what happens when someone doesn't stay active. When we don't eat appropriately and get some sort of exercise, our life can get out of balance. Our bodies should be considered a gift from God. It is the only thing besides our free will that is truly our own. I feel so much better when I exercise. My personal form of exercise is cycling. For me, it is not only physically uplifting, but it also helps me focus my thoughts.
If I go to the gym, it helps me in my work, and with my gardening. If we keep our minds and our bodies clean and healthy, the better we feel. The better I feel the more I can accomplish.
Stay healthy
Until next time.
I was in my twenties it was easy to stay physically fit. I used to go to the gym with friends, and afterward we'd stop by the local ice cream place and get a large shake. It was reward for a job well done. What's wrong with that. Well, nothing except as my metabolism slowed down, I kept eating the shakes. What?? Yeah not my best choice. I was married in my late twenties and my life style changed somewhat as did my metabolism. I started to self medicate with my favorite comfort food, carbohydrates.
In my late thirties I became a mom. Even though I was chasing after my children I was still self medicating with food. Every seven years our bodies change. As we get older, our bodies start to slow down and if we don't change our eating, our lifestyle and our exercise routines we will not keep our bodies full of vitality.
I have seen in my own family what happens when someone doesn't stay active. When we don't eat appropriately and get some sort of exercise, our life can get out of balance. Our bodies should be considered a gift from God. It is the only thing besides our free will that is truly our own. I feel so much better when I exercise. My personal form of exercise is cycling. For me, it is not only physically uplifting, but it also helps me focus my thoughts.
If I go to the gym, it helps me in my work, and with my gardening. If we keep our minds and our bodies clean and healthy, the better we feel. The better I feel the more I can accomplish.
Stay healthy
Until next time.
Saturday, July 8, 2017
What Can I Do for You??
I'm at an age where some of my time is spent as a caregiver. Either to a parent, a spouse, or a friend. I am part of what is called a sandwich generation. Which means I am a caregiver for a parent while still taking care of children in my home. At times I am also a caregiver to my husband. No grandchildren yet, although some of my friends have them. Is there enough of me to go around? Probably not. Will I stop trying to be helpful? Probably not. So how can I take care of everyone else and myself as well. It's a tall order and one that is exhausting.
A therapist once told me women make the worst caregivers. Why? Because they will take care of everyone else before themselves. We do this as mom's as well. We're hard wired that way. So ladies here are some things I learned along the way.
You need to set aside some time at least once a month for yourself. When my children were smaller I used to have what I called a mom's day out. Once a month I would invite a fellow mom to take what some may call a ladies day. It doesn't have to be all day long, but that certainly is a possibility. It could be time shopping, or having lunch. This could be the same for a caregiver of older people.
Don't give up your hobbies, or develop new ones. Unfortunately for me I have too many hobbies. One of the things we do as women, is give up our hobbies. My mother who is now 87 lost my father when she was 79. She was very spry for a 79 year old, but she gave up her hobbies somewhere around 69 or 70 and became totally dependent on my father for everything, she even gave up driving before it was necessary. As a result, when my father died, she was totally lost.
Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of rest. In order to take care of others you need to be healthy yourself. You know when I was a new mother, people used to say sleep when the baby sleeps. Ha! that never works, if you do that, nothing else gets done either. Even though I have to admit, I did sneak a nap more than once. Doing all of these everyday is difficult when you are caring for others. Be creative, take a walk, snack on fruit, sneak a nap during TV time.
It's alright to be selfish once in awhile. Move yourself higher up on your own list of priorities.
Until next time.
A therapist once told me women make the worst caregivers. Why? Because they will take care of everyone else before themselves. We do this as mom's as well. We're hard wired that way. So ladies here are some things I learned along the way.
You need to set aside some time at least once a month for yourself. When my children were smaller I used to have what I called a mom's day out. Once a month I would invite a fellow mom to take what some may call a ladies day. It doesn't have to be all day long, but that certainly is a possibility. It could be time shopping, or having lunch. This could be the same for a caregiver of older people.
Don't give up your hobbies, or develop new ones. Unfortunately for me I have too many hobbies. One of the things we do as women, is give up our hobbies. My mother who is now 87 lost my father when she was 79. She was very spry for a 79 year old, but she gave up her hobbies somewhere around 69 or 70 and became totally dependent on my father for everything, she even gave up driving before it was necessary. As a result, when my father died, she was totally lost.
Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of rest. In order to take care of others you need to be healthy yourself. You know when I was a new mother, people used to say sleep when the baby sleeps. Ha! that never works, if you do that, nothing else gets done either. Even though I have to admit, I did sneak a nap more than once. Doing all of these everyday is difficult when you are caring for others. Be creative, take a walk, snack on fruit, sneak a nap during TV time.
It's alright to be selfish once in awhile. Move yourself higher up on your own list of priorities.
Until next time.
Saturday, July 1, 2017
Sharing the Wisdom of a Friend
Every week when I post I try to share what I have been going through or feeling. This week one of my Facebook friends shared this post. Since my week has been up and down I decided to pass this along. I think it is full of wisdom and definitely worth sharing. If you notice at the bottom she said I could. So here goes.
--Melony Pulley
Until next time
"Over the years, I've had many discussions with our daughters about people and relationships. I've tried to teach them what they should look for in a partner and what kind of partner they should be. I hope we have taught them by example as well. I found myself putting together a list the other night of the most important lessons I've learned. I'm sharing them here, so they are always here and will come up in my memories every year. Thanks FB.
✌🏻
✌🏻
1.) Sometimes you have to give up on people. Not because you don't care, but because they don't. Don't run after people who don't want you. You'll always be running.
2.) DO NOT speak poorly of your past partners to your new one. It's very easy to do and very common, but it only reflects poorly on you. You once loved that person, or at least deeply liked them. Remember that. Choose the higher ground. You won't ever regret it.
3.) If you know something in your gut, trust it. Don't dismiss red flags. They are red for a reason.
4.) Nurture your relationships with friends. Especially when you've got a partner in your life. Friends are important. If your friends aren't accepting of your partner, ask yourself why. Listen carefully to the answers and do some thinking. It may be the partner that needs rethinking, but it might be the friend.
5.) If you wake up thinking of someone and you go to bed thinking of someone.....that just might be someone worth fighting for, worth keeping, even if it's sometimes hard. It's worth it. Listen to your heart, it knows.
6.) It's never too late to try again. Even if it doesn't workout in the way you hoped, you can walk away knowing you gave it everything you had and not full of regret. Don't leave unfinished business. Those doubts can eat you alive and will affect every relationship you have in the future.
7.) Talk to your partner. Admit when you're wrong. Tell them when you have a problem with them. But also, tell them what they're doing right. Meaningful communication is the most important thing in any relationship. If you don't talk to each other AND listen, you'll never survive.
8.) If you are being stupid, mean, or petty and you know it, STOP it! It doesn't have to be nasty. It's not a contest on who can hurt who the most. In that sort of contest, no one is a winner.
9.) When things get rough, and they will, reflect on the good times; the moments, the laughing, the romantic surprises, the singing, the dancing, and the late night talks. Do you really want to live your life without that person in it?
10.) Say goodnight, and good morning. Say, I love you and I appreciate you. Ask yourself every day how you can make your partners life better.
11.) As T-Swizzle so aptly put it, this ain't a fairy tale and you're not a princess. Live right now. Be forgiving. Don't overlook all that you actually have for something that isn't real. Movies and books aren't real. People are.
12.) Don't let past hurts keep you from loving with your whole heart. Hearts are actually pretty resilient. Don't hold back. Give your all. At the very least you learn from every experience you go through. You never know what's around that corner, so turn it.
13.) People will show you who they are if you give them the chance. Pay attention.
14.) Dream about your future. Make big plans. Always know there's more than one way to get from here to there. If one road ends, take a new one. Always keep your final destination in mind.
15.) You teach people how to treat you. Don't be a doormat. Don't be a wall. You are neither.
2.) DO NOT speak poorly of your past partners to your new one. It's very easy to do and very common, but it only reflects poorly on you. You once loved that person, or at least deeply liked them. Remember that. Choose the higher ground. You won't ever regret it.
3.) If you know something in your gut, trust it. Don't dismiss red flags. They are red for a reason.
4.) Nurture your relationships with friends. Especially when you've got a partner in your life. Friends are important. If your friends aren't accepting of your partner, ask yourself why. Listen carefully to the answers and do some thinking. It may be the partner that needs rethinking, but it might be the friend.
5.) If you wake up thinking of someone and you go to bed thinking of someone.....that just might be someone worth fighting for, worth keeping, even if it's sometimes hard. It's worth it. Listen to your heart, it knows.
6.) It's never too late to try again. Even if it doesn't workout in the way you hoped, you can walk away knowing you gave it everything you had and not full of regret. Don't leave unfinished business. Those doubts can eat you alive and will affect every relationship you have in the future.
7.) Talk to your partner. Admit when you're wrong. Tell them when you have a problem with them. But also, tell them what they're doing right. Meaningful communication is the most important thing in any relationship. If you don't talk to each other AND listen, you'll never survive.
8.) If you are being stupid, mean, or petty and you know it, STOP it! It doesn't have to be nasty. It's not a contest on who can hurt who the most. In that sort of contest, no one is a winner.
9.) When things get rough, and they will, reflect on the good times; the moments, the laughing, the romantic surprises, the singing, the dancing, and the late night talks. Do you really want to live your life without that person in it?
10.) Say goodnight, and good morning. Say, I love you and I appreciate you. Ask yourself every day how you can make your partners life better.
11.) As T-Swizzle so aptly put it, this ain't a fairy tale and you're not a princess. Live right now. Be forgiving. Don't overlook all that you actually have for something that isn't real. Movies and books aren't real. People are.
12.) Don't let past hurts keep you from loving with your whole heart. Hearts are actually pretty resilient. Don't hold back. Give your all. At the very least you learn from every experience you go through. You never know what's around that corner, so turn it.
13.) People will show you who they are if you give them the chance. Pay attention.
14.) Dream about your future. Make big plans. Always know there's more than one way to get from here to there. If one road ends, take a new one. Always keep your final destination in mind.
15.) You teach people how to treat you. Don't be a doormat. Don't be a wall. You are neither.
Feel free to share! The post is public."
--Melony Pulley
Until next time
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)