What Can I Do for You??

I'm at an age where some of my time is spent as a caregiver.  Either to a parent, a spouse, or a friend. I am part of what is called a sandwich generation.  Which means I am a caregiver for a parent while still taking care of children in my home.   At times I am also a caregiver to my husband.  No grandchildren yet, although some of my friends have them.  Is there enough of me to go around?  Probably not.  Will I stop trying to be helpful?  Probably not.  So how can I take care of everyone else and myself as well.  It's  a tall order and one that is exhausting.

A therapist once told me women make the worst caregivers.  Why? Because they will take care of everyone else before themselves.  We do this as mom's as well.  We're hard wired that way.  So ladies here are some things I learned along the way.

You need to set aside some time at least once a month for yourself.  When my children were smaller I used to have what I called a mom's day out.  Once a month I would invite a fellow mom to take what some may call a ladies day.  It doesn't have to be all day long, but that certainly is a possibility.  It could be time shopping, or having lunch.  This could be the same for a caregiver of older people.

Don't give up your hobbies, or develop new ones.  Unfortunately for me I have too many hobbies. One of the things we do as women, is give up our hobbies.  My mother who is now 87 lost my father when she was 79.  She was very spry for a 79 year old, but she gave up her hobbies somewhere around 69 or 70 and became totally dependent on my father for everything, she even gave up driving before it was necessary.  As a result, when my father died, she was totally lost.

Eat right, exercise, and get plenty of rest.  In order to take care of others you need to be healthy yourself.  You know when I was a new mother, people used to say sleep when the baby sleeps. Ha! that never works, if you do that, nothing else gets done either.  Even though I have to admit, I did sneak a nap more than once.  Doing all of these everyday is difficult when you are caring for others. Be creative, take a walk, snack on fruit, sneak a nap during TV time.

It's alright to be selfish once in awhile.  Move yourself  higher up on your own list of priorities.

Until next time.