Life for me has been pretty hectic lately. It seems I'm always torn in twenty different directions. I have noticed, that for me, this is overwhelming. Many people live for a life like that. I am not one of those. I feel like I'm constantly putting out fires. Yuck, not a pleasant thing at all.
Then I sit back and wonder how much of this is my fault. A lot most likely. When I first got married a hundred years ago. I didn't have hobbies. I just worked and took care of my home and husband. I was one of those women I shake my head at now and think, no don't do that. Let him help you, don't lose sight of your self. That's just what I did. Everything was for home and family nothing I did was for me. A friend set me straight in the old days. My husband was going to school full time, I was supporting us. I was busy working 40 hours a week and then coming home and being the dutiful house wife. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why oh why did I not ask him to help. Oh yeah I forgot I married Ward Cleaver. For those of you who don't know who that is, think 1950's family dynamic. Except I was working full time. Anyway, I was busy taking care of everything except me and my friend took me aside and said while he's away doing school stuff get a hobby. I learned to cross stitch. Something I still enjoy doing while watching TV. Then over the years I picked up other hobbies.
Now here I am with older children who don't need me as much, two jobs (part time) still working 40 hours a week while trying to fit in a list of hobbies a mile long, take care of my husband, my house, trying to help my daughter heal her broken heart, help my son navigate his way thorough high school, dating, working, and life. I have to say my son is very good to his mom. He treats me like a queen and loves me no matter what.
So here I am after 30 years of marriage still trying to find my balance.
I wish I knew the answer. All I know is if I give up my hobbies, I'll go crazy. I'm trying to find peace in an ever hectic world. I'm afraid if I slow down I'll get run over. So where can I turn for peace. I can only think of one place. I'll find peace in my faith. Turning to the Lord for help is my only option. I keep telling my children that. Just breathe and pray, life will get easier.
Until next time
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